freecat15: (Giles with rose)
Yes, I'm still writing...


Day 12: favorite season 2 episode


In season 2 the quality of the show improves considerably. While there are still some slip-ups to mourn (I look at you, Go Fish!), it also contains some episodes that in my opinion belong to the best of the whole show. It already starts with When She Was Bad that correlates directly not only with regards to content, but also quality wise with its fantastic predecessor Prophecy Girl.  School Hard follows, Lie To Me, Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered, I Only Have Eyes For You and the fantastic double features Surprise/Innocence and, of course, Becoming I and II. All of them are television at its best; but there’s one episode that really knocks it out of the park for me: Passion.

Passion is a milestone. It’s the one episode where the audience gets hit with the fact that on this show, NO character is safe, not even those who are in the inner circle, and thus catapults the whole series on a whole new level of scary.



And talking about scary – it’s this episode where Angelus really reveals for the first time how very much frightening he is. It’s not even his murder of Jenny that shows us who and what Angelus really is and what he’s capable of. It’s the subtlety with which he works on demoralizing Buffy, the way he uses his intimate knowledge to get to her – through those she loves most. (Willow’s fish in an envelope on her bed – eek!) Threatening the Slayerettes proves to be most effective and it’s not so much the murder of Jenny that crushes her, it’s what it does to Giles, and Angelus knows that.



What Angelus didn’t anticipate though is the strength of the bond between the friends. It’s the threat against Willow that, instead of weakening her, works as a wake-up call. It’s right after that incident, in the company of Willow to keep her safe that she realizes how much of herself she gave away to Angel, captured by her first real love; admitting to her friend that her first instinct amidst everything happening still is to call Angel is the first step to take charge of her life again.



In this episode it gets unmistakably clear that what might have appeared kind of endearing to many viewers – the tendency to stalk Buffy from the moment he sees her, both before and after he met her and even after coming together (“I lurk…”) – is an inherent trait that Angelus always used to his advantage in his perverse mind games and is in fact even on Angel anything but endearing, but creepy and, considering where this habit comes from, downright scary.



Passion perfectly follows through with the set up that started with Innocence, and turns out to be the episode were Buffy’s life truly takes a turn to the dramatic and changes forever. While after Innocence the hope still lingered that the loss of Angel’s soul could somehow be repaired or compensated, that there’s still something of Angel inside him that can be revived, it’s here, the moment when she hears of Jenny’s death, that Buffy realizes she has to stop him. It’s certainly one of the worst of her life, and Angel’s pleasure outside her window makes it so much worse.



So much already happened in this episode until this moment, it would’ve been a fantastic one even if it ended right there. But it doesn’t. It gives us the incredible moment between Buffy and Giles on top that shows the decision Buffy made – for her loved ones. Once more, like before in Prophecy Girl, she actively decides to fight the good fight and accept her loss – for those she loves the most. It’s where her passion lies. But this time she doesn’t sacrifice her own feelings and desires; instead she finally begins to take some of her identity back, a process she will complete in Becoming II the moment she catches the sword.

Giles acknowledges what she’s doing as what it is and how hard it is on her and reacts instantly, even though deeply grieving, with supporting her, which displays in letting her cling to him after saving him against his will and hitting him, thus accepting that she needs him, and later letting her even mourn together with him at Jenny’s grave. What started at the end of Innocence with him giving her his sympathy and respect instead of reproach and disapproval beautifully culminates here in their getting even closer than before. It’s here, I think, where Giles truly begins to grow into the role as a surrogate father. In trying to rip them apart, Angelus only managed to strengthen their bond.



But Passion is not only brilliant in its thematic tightness; it’s also outstanding in its execution. From the chilling voice-over in the beginning and ending scenes to the excellent music to directing and cutting it’s a masterpiece of television. Additionally it plays the emotional scale up and down virtuously. It contains two of the very rare scenes alone that never fail to drive me to tears – first the moment Giles climbs his stairs, such hope and joy gleaming in his eyes and turning to absolute terror the next moment, brilliantly enhanced by ‘La Bohème’ in the background;



and then the subsequent phone call to Buffy and Willow. Especially this one is brilliantly shot, reminding of a very similar shot where Angel revealed to Buffy his old true self. This time, the veil it’s shot through separates them where before it had them appear like in an enclave – together against the world. This time, it’s her friend Buffy is together with.

And then there’s the scene of Angelus hunting and murdering Jenny – truly terrific in writing, acting, lighting and filming, climaxing in the realization that it hasn't been an empty threat when Angelus said his ‘and teacher – makes – three’. Horror at its best.

Additionally there's so much happening aside this main plot - Buffy kind of forgiving Jenny for the sake of Giles; Joyce having The Talk with Buffy; Spike and Angelus becoming more and more hostile toward each other; Willow picking up the teacher's role; the first mention of Xander’s Snoopy Dance - which all contribute to making this a brilliant episode.

I love how significant the title of this episode is. It’s all about the risk of letting passion rule you and letting someone in, even if it’s someone you love, but “don’t know if I trust you” and the looming consequences if you’re making  a mistake. But it’s beautifully balanced out with the positive consequences it can have if it’s the right one to trust. Even if Buffy has to let go of Angel, thanks to her friends she doesn’t have to live a life without passion - she doesn’t have to live a life where she’s emotionally dead. And this is what in the end gives her the strength to kill the man she loves - for the greater good, but first and foremost for her friends.
freecat15: (happy dance)
It took a while. Again.
I blame it on the stress I had with my son's broken leg, many, many hours at the hospital for re-casting, plural, making new x-ray photographs again, and again, and in the end having surgery after all. All I could focus on beside that and still caring for my other kids, and house keeping, and work at school, was making pretty pictures from pretty people.
But here it is, the next day of 55 days:


Day 11: Least favorite male character


Like every ‘least favorite’, this isn’t easy; there aren’t many things and characters that I don’t like, but that are still important to the show. Of course there’s Parker, and I could argue that he’s pretty important in what he and his behavior do to Buffy, but that still feels like kind of a cop out.

So I pick the one guy I truly don’t like at all – Warren.



When Warren first appeared, I still felt compassion for him. Yes, he built himself a creepy sex bot, but he did it because he felt lonely, and what he wanted from her was feeling loved, right? And at least he realized that she in no way could replace a real person.

But then he did this thing with just leaving her behind, not even giving it any thought that if he succeeded in making her so alive-like, she  maybe was capable of feeling abandoned. Hid from her even when he saw how desperately she searched for him, instead of giving her some peace of mind, or, you know, switch her off, and even after getting it he still didn't show any remorse. My sympathy made a 180 and turned into disgust instantly (which happens rarely, I almost always still find something redeemable in people!), and I cheered Katrina on when she left him.

When he reappeared in season 6, it became clear pretty quickly that his behavior wasn’t just a slip, and here's why:

Over the course of the season he displays a lot of criminal energy to achieve his goals, and doesn’t shy away from capital offense either, the museum robbery being one of them, but culminating of course at first in the intension to rape and then the manslaughter of Katrina.



On the surface still the funny guy and certainly highly intelligent, admired for this and his strength by Andrew till the end, he soon shows that he’s at the core manipulative and deeply selfish, and goes all out to get what he wants, stopping at nothing, having no qualms about throwing his friends under the bus at the first opportunity. Basically he shows almost every trait typical for psychopaths, such as high self-confidence paired with lack of conscience and empathy, charming on the outside, use of cruelty to gain empowerment, defiance of authority; he’s eloquent as a speaker which he uses to manipulate people.

That's how he seduces both Andrew and Jonathan to do nasty and even illegal things, even though neither of them is stupid or in any way evil. But for a while they bath in his attention, not realizing what he really needs them for.



It's no coincidence that The First chooses Warren to further entice Andrew to do its bidding, going even so far to have him kill his only friend Jonathan. Besides Andrew being an easy target, it's still the huge influence Warren has on him and his capabilty of being convincing.

Even though watching Warren is kind of thrilling and therefore enjoyable, I really, really don't like him. I’m firmly against death penalty. But when Willow kills him I can’t help but cheer (well, the flaying wasn’t necessary, I guess…).

Actually ‘don’t like’ isn’t a strong enough expression for Warren. He scares me, much more than any monster could, because people like him exist in reality.

He’s a true monster.
freecat15: (got it done)
Between work, jumping through hoops for a broken-leg kid and delightfully spending hours in clinic waiting rooms again I finally found a little time to write the next of 55 days of BtVS. Took me long enough.


Day 10: Favorite male character


Spike. Always was, always will be.

My whole life I’ve been a sucker for bad boys with a soft side, and Spike fits this description perfectly from his first moments on the show. But it’s so much more than that.

Until he shows up, vampires are either evil and dumb or evil and annoying. Or soul-having and boring. Spike is different from the beginning, and it’s no coincidence that the show’s quality picks up notably from the moment he appears. He adds a dynamic to it that hasn’t been there before; he’s unpredictable – fun at one moment, threatening the next,



delightfully evil first, soft and tender immediately after.



It takes all of two scenes on screen for him to show that he’s not the stereotype vampire we knew until then, but a wonderfully layered character and a captivating new Big Bad at that.

But it doesn’t stop there. His character, already so much more interesting from the get go than most of the others, experiences the most changes and growth that I have seen in any show to date.  It’s not only marked by a beautiful and impressing redemption arc, but it turns out that this is only the last part of his many transformations.

As we see in Fool for Love, after 3 years of knowing him, he started out completely different than we always thought - as a shy and bullied-by-his-peers Victorian gentleman who cares deeply for his mother.



He then becomes a vampire that still cares and is capable of deep emotions such as love and devotion, reinvents himself to the evil Spike we get to know in all his bad-ass-ness,



only to fall victim to the one trait neither turning nor self-modeling could take away – his ability to love.

It’s what makes his redemption arc so special and the most beautiful I know of on screen – he again changes fundamentally, and this time knowingly, willingly, for love. It’s not the chip setting him on this path (though it certainly helps with the awareness); with the chip he’s still absolutely enjoying his work of destroying the bond of friendship surrounding the Slayer, and his evilness altogether. It’s the moment when realization hits him that he has fallen in love with her that changes everything. The moment he wakes up and knows it, he’s shocked to the core, because he knows instantly he will act on it, which means life as he knew it for the last century is over.



Watching him trying his hardest, making himself vulnerable, letting him being tortured rather than betraying his love’s sister, becoming a trusted ally, breaking down at Buffy’s death, then trying and failing to help her, and ultimately failing her and himself – that’s just incredibly heartbreaking or heartwarming and always utterly fascinating. Seeing him doing the unthinkable as the immediate consequence, getting his soul back and thus going the final, the crowning step of his redemption all by himself and as willingly as all the other steps is indescribable satisfying to me.



And he’s still not finished. He suffers from his past deeds, but instead of sinking into depression changes himself again, this time to the useful fighter he needs to be to support his love, finally finding a healthy balance in the end.

Well, before he dies, sacrificing his life for the world and thus fully redeeming himself.

I love that he not simply reverts to his old Victorian self with the soul, this guy that the vampire always hated and wanted to get rid of, but picks the best of each persona he ever presented.
Soulful Spike could’ve turned out as lame as Joan predicts, but he’s still so interesting.

James Marsters has a huge part in the fascination that is Spike. Without his incredible ability to act the hell out of his character from the start, I doubt he would have become a regular. He brings out each of the layers within with just a look, a tilt of his head, a smile so small that it can almost not be seen.



But it’s not only his good looks or even the acting; it’s the perfect symbiosis – I don’t even find JM that attractive, except when he plays Spike. Then he’s gorgeous. It’s both – the character and the one who brings him to life.

BtVS is a fantastic show with many fantastic characters played by brilliant actors, but apart from the core four, most of them are replaceable, more or less, without losing much. But there’s no doubt for me: Without James Marsters’ Spike, Buffy wouldn’t be the same.

(Well, duh!)
 
freecat15: (Default)
Day 9: Most horrible death


That’s a hard one. There are so many deaths of beloved characters, and they are all horrible. There’s Jenny, there’s Angel (temporary), there’s Joyce, and of course there’s Spike, and as far as horrible deaths are concerned, I have to count even Warren. But ultimately the one that got to me the most was probably Tara’s death.




I had known that Spike would sacrifice himself at the end of s7 before it happened, and I had known about him showing up at AtS. (Of course, I still bawled my eyes out, and still do every time I watch it.) But I had not the slightest clue that Tara would die. I had heard of Willow going dark, but had no idea what would bring this on, hadn’t thought about it too hard either.

I was still in the middle of a happy dance much like Dawn’s about the joy on my screen of Tara and Willow finally being together again when the shot happened. And it left me completely shocked.
If ever a character doesn’t deserve to die, it’s Tara. She is so purely good and, very rare in BtVS, almost flawless that she could come across as annoying and boring, but she never does. Her kindness toward everybody is always heartwarming to watch. She manages to tell the truth without being blunt or offending. She has a very healthy stance on magic and on life in general. She takes on the role of a parent for Dawn with so much love and warmth, and she continues to care for her even after moving out.

 I can’t imagine anyone not loving her for her reaction to Buffy’s meltdown in Dead Things, when she’s not only there for her, isn’t afraid to ask questions and listens to her, but gives support in a way that is unexpected - she’s understanding, encouraging even, instead of condemning when she thinks Buffy loves Spike, but also when she realizes that’s not the case, and offers Buffy the possibility to deal with what she did without feeling so guilty.



Her development from an overly shy girl to a self-assured young woman is beautiful. I admire her strength to leave Willow - the woman that had awakened the self-confidence in Tara - when it becomes necessary despite still loving her so much. I love how naturally she stands up for Willow in Older and Far Away, and how easily she puts Spike in his place in the same episode, being hilarious without hurting him. This all clearly shows that she really came into her own – she doesn’t need Willow for being self-confident.



That she still loves Willow, independent as she is then, is a huge part of why Willow finds the strength on her own to withstand the lure of magic – and it all falls apart with the shot that kills Tara. It’s not only Tara who gets killed there, but also the very thing that keeps Willow together.

What makes it even more shocking – in a show that is all about the supernatural as main source of evil that is constantly threatening to kill beloved characters, it’s a death that isn’t caused supernaturally;  she doesn’t die for the cause, in a fight where she knows she risks her life. It befalls her at home where she deems herself safe, it’s an ordinary murder by a human, and the bullet wasn’t even intended for her. With additionally it happening right at the moment she had wished for so long, when she is finally reunited with the woman she loves and happy, it’s the epitome of a tragic death, and ultimately almost destroys the world.

But while Willow’s pain and despair are hurtful to watch – it’s usually only when Dawn stays with Tara’s dead body because she doesn’t want her to be alone that I realize how horribly the death of the gentle witch really hits me.



It’s then that I always start to cry.
freecat15: (Chosen)
Day 8: Favorite season 1 episode

That’s pretty easy again, and not only because there’s not that much to pick from - Prophecy Girl.



This is the first episode that is written and directed by Joss Whedon, and that shows. If you can ignore the still terrible music, it’s the only episode of season 1 (except maybe ‘Angel’) that could easily belong to a later season.

I love it because it is really the turning point for Buffy. Until now she did her job, struggling with the repercussions on her life, but still doing it out of reluctantly feeling responsible for the world. But right here in this episode she wholeheartedly accepts that it’s her fate to save the world and eventually die for the cause, that it’s the mission that counts, something that from now on will underlie everything she does, no matter her struggle not to let it rule her whole life. And what is it that after the initial refusal to sacrifice herself makes her change her mind? The love she feels for her friends and family - it’s her mother’s unwillingness to go away with her daughter and Willows anguish that in the end drive her to fulfill the prophecy.



It’s the very first episode that hits really hard emotionally, and Sarah Michelle Gellar knocks it out of the park. Her reaction when she overhears Giles and Angel talk about her prophesized death, her frantically trying to convince her mother to flee with her, her sad determination when she talks to a devastated Willow hurt to watch, as does seeing her scared for the first time when she is down in the caves to find the Master, but bravely goes on, and then hearing that it’s her blood that will set him free.

I love that her living differently than intended by the Watcher’s council, namely having friends, is not only the reason for her to accept her role, but also in a brilliant turn saves her! Beside the confidence boost after having proved the prophecy wrong, I always saw this as the main reason for coming out stronger than before and eventually defeat the Master.



This is the episode in season 1 with the most character growth, and not only for Buffy. Willow gets to stand up for herself, telling Xander off when he asks her to be his date after being rejected; and Giles really comes through for Buffy, ready to sacrifice himself to save her life (before he gets knocked out :) ). To me it marks the turning point in their relationship where Giles begins to become her surrogate father.

The symbolism used throughout the episode is also brilliant – rejecting the cross (the christian symbol of sacrifice) Angel gave her as a present in the first episode when she refuses the sacrifice, then picking it up again when she accepts it; her being led to the cave by a child, representing her childhood that she loses when the Master kills her; and of course the use of blood equaling life that gets picked up heavily in season 5.

It’s this episode that closes the book of Buffy childhood with a bang forever and sets her on the hard path of adolescence. I love it.
freecat15: (happy dance)
And again I have to put it behind a cut for length...

Day 7: Least favorite season )
freecat15: (Default)
I'm back home, and here is the next day of 55 days!
It's longer than the others, and therefore under the cut.


Day 6: Favorite season )
freecat15: (Default)
I'm in Munich with my 11 year old son for a few days, the weather is fantastic, and we have a blast! Unfortunately I have lousy internet, though, so I'm only gonna post this until I get home again. Everything else will have to wait...
Here goes:


Favorite first scene of a character

Although Dawn’s entrance is a close second (“Mom!!!”), I’ll have to go with Spike.

I hadn’t really decided yet if I even liked BtVS (I look at you, s1, sharply!), when suddenly an old car barrelled into town and crashed against the ‘Welcome to Sunnydale’ sign, these black boots stomped onto my screen, perfectly underlined by punky guitar sounds that hadn’t been heard in this show until now, and this guy appeared. And I was lost.

His next scene followed, and I knew it would stay that way. The glee he was oozing, how joyfully he put the assembled vampires in their place – that was brilliant. With Drusilla entering the room and Spike changing, he showed, after not much more than a minute on screen, that he was not like all the other stupid vamps, but layered - a vampire so obviously capable of emotions he shouldn’t have, visibly devoted to a woman. His entrance left me sitting there with my mouth open.



After a season with the Master, Spike and Dru were such a delight to watch! Especially Spike had such an aura of power and charisma! Only the second scene with him was on, and already the show had gotten so much better!

Luckily he didn’t disappoint later either. In only one episode he proved to be a fascinating complex character; he was ruthless, smart, tender, averse to tradition, impatient and funny. His first scene didn’t tell us all that, but with its standing out from everything we had seen so far on the show, it held the promise of the arrival of someone special. The episode most enjoyably kept this promise.
 
freecat15: (Default)
I won't be at home for a few days, and since my netbook kinda broke down today, I don't know if it'll work to post anything during that time. We'll see.
Here goes:

Day 4: Least favorite female character

Since I have already done Veruca, I have to pick Amy this time.

Not for the obvious reason though. Of course it’s not very nice to take Willow to Rack and thus seal her fate to eventually get addicted; to later try to get her back on the magic when she fights with withdrawel anyway; or to play the Warren trick on her in s7. But that’s not why I picked her. It’s more for the lack of importance regarding how much screen time she ultimately got, the inconsistency the writers put her through and for the reason she returned at all.

Amy was a sweet girl in the beginning and, as the most meaningful aspect of her existence, introduced us to magic in the Buffy verse. In s2 and s3, I found it already a bit OOC that she had turned to magic after what she’d experienced being a victim of it. I still could chalk it up as a reaction to exactly this event, and although clearly dipping into darker magic, she was still kind of a nice girl who had decided to use magic to her advantage. Not a good trait, morally more on the grey side, but not really bad either, because she didn’t hurt anyone with it but herself (turning herself into a rat in ‘Gingerbread’).



When she was turned back into a human girl, it quickly became obvious that she’d been brought back for the sole reason to provide the magic buddy for Willow that was needed to help in getting her addicted. I found the turn Amy took in only a few days very unbelievable. How could she have been addicted to magic so fast? She wasn’t a girl for more than a week again! And how the hell could she have known of Rack anyway? She’d been a rat for years! We never got any plausible explanation, and thus are left with a character that feels like a plot device. It doesn't help that this is, to me anyway, the only questionable plotline in s6, and it's based on shaky ground with not much credibility.

Her return in s7 was even more of a MacGuffin. Not that her character development was that impossible or even unlikely. It was just not at all meaningful or even interesting, because again we were presented with next to no background on it apart from what little information we got shoved down our throats at the end of the episode. It was handled heavy handed and didn’t make for an even remotely compelling appearance. I feel like I know more about Cassie, who appeared in only one episode (not counting her cameo as The First)!

It’s not that I don’t like the character or the actress; she could’ve been an interesting addition, but as it was, she wasn’t by far fleshed out enough, so that in the end she annoyed the hell out of me. All things considered - after ‘Witch’ I could’ve done without her.
 
freecat15: (Default)
For those who are reading [livejournal.com profile] the_moonmoth’s 55 Days – I started reading hers, but stopped as soon as I realized I’d like to do this, too, and she already had two out of the first three days picked the same as I would have. I haven’t read her Day 3 yet, nor have I checked out any of the other days. If there are any more consistencies in choice, it just means we love (or don't like) similar things about the show…though after each posted day I head over to look what she chose :)

Favorite female character

A hard question, since I already had Buffy, and I love them all. It may have something to do with my protective streak that I ended up picking her, but probably I just love her most – Dawn.
Yes, I know she’s a little annoying sometimes (not to me, but I get that others see her that way  at times). She’s a teenager, she’s supposed to be! And – she’s a lot more than that.

For one she’s incredibly brave. I have no idea how I would have reacted had someone told me at the age of 14 that I hadn’t been real until just a few weeks ago, but I think it wouldn’t have been pretty. But Dawn, after a very brief and shocking test of her being real, sucks it up and goes on. It’s on her mind, never really lets her go as can be seen throughout the show, but she lives with it.
I admire her strength and resilience, her sharp mind and her ability to think on her feet despite being scared as hell, like shown in ‘Blood Ties’, when she pumps Glory for information about herself, but also later in s7 in ‘Potential’ (which btw is the episode where her beauty really knocks me off my feet!).

She’s really smart (translating from ancient languages? People her age have difficulties with living languages!), but also warmhearted and empathetic. I will forever love her for her sensitive behavior when, and especially after, she finds Buffy on the tower and for her telling the Scoobies off, realizing they were crowding her. Also, it’s no coincidence that she’s the only one seeing the deeper feelings Spike has for Buffy (which of course is because she’s the only one not seeing Spike as a nuisance, but that’s just one more plus point on my I-love-Dawn list  :) )

With everything she’s been through, I don’t know how she doesn’t end up in a psych ward. Instead she fights back as well as she can, is understanding of everyone (her reaction to Buffy after realizing what Buffy had been up to with Spike?  ‘I know it must hurt. To feel like you have to hide, to keep secrets from everybody?’  Man, she’s 15 by then and already so insightful!) and is even a friend for Tara when she could’ve felt abandoned instead.

When she stays with Tara’s dead body – this is one of the rare scenes that, after a gazillion rewatches, still drive me to tears every. single. time.
And her giddy joy when she sees Tara’s back is just contagious:



‘No! No, no, no! Uh-uh! I’m totally not here. You guys you do whatever you want. Um. I’ll go watch TV, downstairs, really loud, in the basement, where I can’t hear anything. ‘ (Squeal of delight) ‘Oh my god! Oh my god!’ (dashes off, comes back) ‘I love you guys! ‘

I don’t know how I could not love her. I agree with Xander: She’s extraordinary.
freecat15: (Default)
Day 2: Least favorite character

Veruca. Without any doubt.

Even if it feels a bit wrong to pick someone who appears in only one episode (plus two appearances with her band) – I can’t ignore her. And since the part she plays in Oz’s leaving is so important, and she brings up a subject that is important to the show, I feel like I’m allowed to do this. She’s the one and only character that I absolutely dislike, and not in a good she-plays-her-so-good- it gives-me-shudders way.
I don’t know how much of it is the actress; I’ve never seen her anywhere else. But I couldn’t stand her the first moment she was on screen. I don’t even like the way she sings.

Not to stay on the shallow side, though, I mostly don’t like how she behaves character wise. She’s supposed to tear Oz over to the wild side, I get that; but her whole attitude bugs me, her way of not caring the slightest what happens to people around her. She’s hurting and killing and doesn’t care. And she excuses it with her being a werewolf, when Oz so clearly shows that it doesn’t have to be that way at all.

She claims to be more alive than as a human, and free. What she means is free of the annoying conscience. She doesn’t struggle and apparently never did. That raises the question why she feels so different about it than Oz does. Is it ‘the ties to the world’ again? Having friends, a girlfriend? Maybe. But with everything I ever heard about being in a band, these are mostly close relationships. To me it’s pretty clear that she’s not without those bonds, so it must be in her personality, a personality that most likely (if Oz' development after being bitten is any clue) was the same before the bite. And a personality that perceives it as freedom to be able to hurt and kill without having to care just is loathsome to me. It’s like your random vampire, only after turning. And at the same time a not so random vampire slowly begins his journey of beginning to care for the consequences of his doings despite not being equipped with a conscience.

It fills me with great satisfaction that the only thing she accomplishes with her rousing speech is the exact opposite from what she wanted – Oz is horrified and wants nothing less than to become like her. It leads to him leaving, which is a shame, but hey, it gave us Tara!

Maybe Veruca shows the way how it's supposed to go. Oz and Spike show there is a better way, if there is the will to choose it.
freecat15: (Default)
I saw this 55 question about BtVS challenge on [livejournal.com profile] the_moonmoth's page, and since my LJ is still a bit on the empty side, and my Bio sucks, I decided to try to do this.
Apparently she found it on tumblr (right?) here , where I can't comment because I have not the first idea about how to do anything at all over there. I suck. But hey, I succeeded to create a link here, that's something, right? Ugh, I'm still trying to find my way through all the mysteries of LJ...

I probably won't do this daily, though. Time, my huge problem. Also, of course it won't be betaed, so there'll be mistakes. Which reminds me that I should put my non-native-speaker-ness in my Bio at least.
Oh well.

So, here goes.

Day 1: Favorite character

The start is pretty easy. That's Buffy, of course.

I love her. Simple as that. She's not without flaws, of course not. She wouldn't be the interesting character she is then. But she is also kind, brave, and incredibly strong (and I don't mean bodily strength here). Also, even after all the crap she is given, she never ceases to be empathetic and forgiving. She may not have access to her whole inner self for a while in s6, but even then she doesn't stop caring for those dear to her more than for herself.

To be honest - it gives me goosebumps when someone calls her selfish. To me, she is as selfless as can be, almost to a fault. If she wouldn't suffer so much at the notion of her being unable to love, it would be laughable. She has such a huge heart, and is so full of love that it hurts to see her struggle with this.

From day one of her calling she struggles to maintain a normal life, but never for one second shies away from her responsibility. The only two times she even thinks about quitting are connected to her love in significant ways - the first time in Prophecy Girl she instantly dismisses the thought of running away when she realizes her friends' lives are in danger if she does, the second time in The Gift she thinks of quitting only because of her love for Dawn as qonsequence of maybe losing her. And then she quits, both times, in the only way even thinkable for her - in sacrificing herself.

It's no coincidence either that she isn't the Slayer out of the brochure. It's her love that gives her the added security net that no other slayer has, that feeds her with strength as much as she gives back. Without her ability to love we wouldn't have gotten this wonderful woman.
It would've been the Buffy from the Wish-verse.

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